1 year later…..

Well we did it, we survived a whole year just the three of us!

Im not going to lie, it’s been the most challenging and exhausting year of my life but also the most fun and exciting time too!

For those of you that know us (and some of you that don’t), you’ll know that our little one was a HORRENDOUS sleeper, I reckon that about 9 months of my life were consumed with either trying to get her to sleep, coming up with theories about why she wouldn’t sleep, talking to people about her sleep and arguing with my hubby about her not sleeping!

I think after this time we both just resigned ourselves to the fact that she just wasn’t a great sleeper! But she has the best personality and I couldn’t ask for more! She makes me laugh constantly and is my best friend in the world!  Can’t have it all right? In fact, I’d say we’re pretty lucky!!

Heres a few things I’ve learnt over the first year:

1. It is in fact possible to survive and somehow function on minimal sleep! Don’t ask me how but you just do! Yes you’re forgetful and walking around in a daze but you’re awake, you’re taking care of a baby and getting by!

2. Every baby is different. Ours didn’t sleep 12 hours a night like most in the mums group, ours wouldn’t take the bottle…. you can get down about it or you can get on with it, when they’re ready they’ll let you know!

3. Relationships are HARD. First there’s your hubby, the one person you’ve always turned to is also just as exhausted as you, tempers are short, life’s hectic and been turned upside down and neither of you have a clue what’s going on! It’s natural to fight!! Then there’s your friends, you don’t think they understand your life and you’re right, why would they! Their lives haven’t changed! Your real friends will stick around, and they’ll become an important part of your baby’s life too!

4. It really does take a village. Especially when you’re on the other side of the world to your family and friends! Let people in, don’t be afraid to ask for help and keep sociable!

5. Routine is a necessity. Me and my husband had no clue what to do with a newborn baby. We didn’t know we were meant to have a routine and looking back  maybe that’s why we spent so much of our time awake in the night and rocking or feeding a baby back to sleep! Routine is important to a baby, how will they know what’s going on otherwise!

6. You’ll experience love like never before. I honestly never thought I could love someone so much! My heart is so full of love for my baby, I miss her when she goes to bed or if I’m out! She makes me smile just when I hear or see her. ❤️

7. Stop buying unnecessary shite. Yep, you’ll see adverts for things and find yourself clicking “ add to shopping basket” in my front room I have a rocking caterpillar, a rubber donkey, a huge jellycat, a leopard print baby armchair….STOP!!!

8. Mums group becomes your saviour. These girls have been my rock. From a bunch of strangers in a room with newborn babies they’re now my very close friends and I couldn’t have done it without them. From texts at 5am, to bitching about our partners and multiple weekly play dates with wine they’re amazing!

9. Coffee is amazing. I’ve always been more of a “make us a cuppa” kinda girl so have always had the opinion that all those people ordering their morning coffees were kind of coffee wankers… but Lo and behold I’m one of them now… In fact I’ve been known to loiter outside the coffee shop at 7am and sign throughout the day “ gosh I’m tired, must need a coffee”

If anyone else has any other things they’ve learnt we’d love to hear them too!

And well done to all the other parents on surviving the first year, it sure was tough!

xx

 

My Little Sleep Thief 🤱🏼😴

I’m always the first to crack a joke about having a baby that doesn’t sleep….but the reality is it’s actually really bloody hard!

My little girl is 8 months old now and  has slept through the night once. We don’t know why it happened or if we did something differently but it’s yet to happen again. And of course I had to keep checking on her so didn’t sleep anyway….

My hubbie is out the house for 11 hours a day Monday to Friday and without much sleep the night before those days can sometimes feel like an eternity.

Anyone that you speak to wants to chat about the subject of sleep, the very first thing is “ah what a lovely baby, is she sleeping through?” I smile through gritted teeth at the little old lady in the shopping centre, the neighbour from upstairs and the mum in the coffee shop all the while thinking “what bloody business is it of yours” before remembering they’re just being polite so I hit the reset button and launch into conversation. One day I’m sure I’ll be able to say yes! 🤞🏼

Anyway, so when I say she doesn’t like to sleep, I don’t mean only doing 4 or 5 hour stints, I’m talking waking sometimes after 20 minutes, 45 minutes, an hour, multiple times a night!

Id somehow got myself into a habit of rocking bubba to sleep so most of my time if we’re at home was spent pacing up and down with her in my arms. Oh and if that didn’t work, the magic answer had become to pop my boob out, that fixes everything right? WRONG. So not only does she now need to be rocked but also fed to sleep! What had I done?

Add into the mix 3x 20-30 minute catnaps during the day and she’d be back up and raring to go again and I admittedly was starting to lose my mind! Some days I would spend over half an hour settling for her to wake up after 7 minutes!

There wasn’t any time to cook, clean or have any time for myself, things were getting on top of me! I’ve got a permanent mumbun and don’t even get me started on my fake tan! 😂

People always said about being tired but it’s honestly like nothing you’d ever imagine, I have turned into a human zombie.

The past two weeks alone I’ve:

– thrown my bank card in the rubbish

– gone out (twice in the same day) to buy milk, come home without it

– gone to the post office minus the parcel

– paid for my shopping in the supermarket and left it there

Sometime I get to places and have no idea how I got  there! 🙈🙈

Over the 8 months I’ve gone to the early childhood centre numerous times and pleaded for help, it all seems simple when they explain to me about a routine do this, do that but a) it’s hard to take in when you’re sleep deprived and b) these routines don’t seem to work with a catnapping baby..

After being that mum that cries to the nurses on the helpline, finally my referral to the team at Karitane Parenting came through, we had an appointment, there was light at the end of the tunnel!

We arrived there armed with the baby’s sleeping bag and of course Jellycat, the aim was to show the nurse at nap time how we get her to sleep…

After 20 minutes of hubby rocking and ssshhing while she cried, eventually she fell to sleep in their cot. Typically that day the nap lasted a whole 45 minutes!

In that 45 minutes the nurse went through so many things with us and asked us how we wanted to approach it. I was so worried that she was going to tell us to put her down, walk out and leave her to cry herself to sleep, I knew that neither of us were strong enough to do that! But she listened to us and gave advice. Not only about sleeping but feeding, what times she should actually be eating , sleeping, playing. I had generally just been putting her into bed when she seemed tired hence all the little catnaps…I also learnt about the nutritious side of things and got some tips on what we  can feed going forwards.

I actually left feeling positive and reassured that although the baby doesn’t sleep we are doing a good job!

We’re now on day 5 of the routine and can definitely see some improvements already! Its been tough, there’s been frustration, upset and tears and that was just from me!🙈

But hopefully we’re going to be able to stick to it and our little girl can finally get the sleep she needs! (And us too of course!)

(And with any luck my brain might start functioning too!)

Thank you to the team at Karitane Parenting for pointing us in the right direction! 👍🏽

 

 

 

 

 

 

How to sleep like a man…

Ever laid awake at night and thought about murdering your husband?

Yep, that’s right. I said it out loud…

How do they do it? How do they participate with the making of a baby and still get to sleep through the night??

We’ve been gathering some intel and so far have come up with the following methods which seem to be helping them……

1. Drink. Now, there are various different methods of this however it seems that a few beers followed by a bottle of red is the way forward. This will put you into a really deep sleep and allow you to snore really loudly. If you’re lucky it will also put you into a really bad mood early the next morning…

2. White noise. This can range from anything from heavy rain to the vacuum cleaner, even the sound of a heartbeat should you wish. The tip to white noise is to turn it up really loudly so that a) if the baby wakes you won’t hear them and b) you won’t even hear your wife nagging at any point through the night.

3. If at any point you wake up in the night, DO NOT, I repeat do not, make any eye contact with your wife. She will expect something from you. Grunt and turn over, you can still pretend you’re asleep if you’re smart.

4. If you should ever rudely be woken by your wife tut, huff and grumble about how early you need to be up for work. If this doesn’t work, pull your trump card out and let your wife know that you need to be on the ball at work otherwise the mortgage and bills won’t  be paid and essentially you’ll all be homeless.

5. Last but not least, if in the worst case scenario you have to get up and go into the baby’s room, pick up baby, do some shushing for about 2.5 minutes and then call out “think the baby wants their mum love”

Works every time.

And that ladies is how to sleep like a boss. Or a man.