1 year later…..

Well we did it, we survived a whole year just the three of us!

Im not going to lie, it’s been the most challenging and exhausting year of my life but also the most fun and exciting time too!

For those of you that know us (and some of you that don’t), you’ll know that our little one was a HORRENDOUS sleeper, I reckon that about 9 months of my life were consumed with either trying to get her to sleep, coming up with theories about why she wouldn’t sleep, talking to people about her sleep and arguing with my hubby about her not sleeping!

I think after this time we both just resigned ourselves to the fact that she just wasn’t a great sleeper! But she has the best personality and I couldn’t ask for more! She makes me laugh constantly and is my best friend in the world!  Can’t have it all right? In fact, I’d say we’re pretty lucky!!

Heres a few things I’ve learnt over the first year:

1. It is in fact possible to survive and somehow function on minimal sleep! Don’t ask me how but you just do! Yes you’re forgetful and walking around in a daze but you’re awake, you’re taking care of a baby and getting by!

2. Every baby is different. Ours didn’t sleep 12 hours a night like most in the mums group, ours wouldn’t take the bottle…. you can get down about it or you can get on with it, when they’re ready they’ll let you know!

3. Relationships are HARD. First there’s your hubby, the one person you’ve always turned to is also just as exhausted as you, tempers are short, life’s hectic and been turned upside down and neither of you have a clue what’s going on! It’s natural to fight!! Then there’s your friends, you don’t think they understand your life and you’re right, why would they! Their lives haven’t changed! Your real friends will stick around, and they’ll become an important part of your baby’s life too!

4. It really does take a village. Especially when you’re on the other side of the world to your family and friends! Let people in, don’t be afraid to ask for help and keep sociable!

5. Routine is a necessity. Me and my husband had no clue what to do with a newborn baby. We didn’t know we were meant to have a routine and looking back  maybe that’s why we spent so much of our time awake in the night and rocking or feeding a baby back to sleep! Routine is important to a baby, how will they know what’s going on otherwise!

6. You’ll experience love like never before. I honestly never thought I could love someone so much! My heart is so full of love for my baby, I miss her when she goes to bed or if I’m out! She makes me smile just when I hear or see her. ❤️

7. Stop buying unnecessary shite. Yep, you’ll see adverts for things and find yourself clicking “ add to shopping basket” in my front room I have a rocking caterpillar, a rubber donkey, a huge jellycat, a leopard print baby armchair….STOP!!!

8. Mums group becomes your saviour. These girls have been my rock. From a bunch of strangers in a room with newborn babies they’re now my very close friends and I couldn’t have done it without them. From texts at 5am, to bitching about our partners and multiple weekly play dates with wine they’re amazing!

9. Coffee is amazing. I’ve always been more of a “make us a cuppa” kinda girl so have always had the opinion that all those people ordering their morning coffees were kind of coffee wankers… but Lo and behold I’m one of them now… In fact I’ve been known to loiter outside the coffee shop at 7am and sign throughout the day “ gosh I’m tired, must need a coffee”

If anyone else has any other things they’ve learnt we’d love to hear them too!

And well done to all the other parents on surviving the first year, it sure was tough!

xx

 

Whoever named it morning sickness was a lying bastard….

“You look positively glowing” was not a phrase that I ever heard throughout my pregnancy…in fact, if someone had said it to me i would know never to trust that person again!

The phrase that I became most familiar with was more along the lines of “bloody hell mate, you look like shit.”

So you hear about this thing called Morning Sickness right? And if you’re anything like me you’ll envisage it to be not that bad at all. In fact, looking back when colleagues and friends were ever discussing it I probably would have rolled my eyes and thought man up love, I bet I feel more nauseous than you right now. That’s probably because I was a frequent visitor to Sydney’s mid week happy hours…but still…

Anyway, karmas a bitch, turns out I should have been a lot more considerate because in actual fact Morning Sickness was the WORST experience of my life!!

So just to give you an idea of experience was like for me…around week 5 I started to feel a little queasy in the morning when I woke up..I remember being delighted! I was PREGNANT and my body was telling me!

I was armed with dry crackers, ginger, you name it I had it, I was ready for this right?

WRONG.

My sickness gradually became worse and worse as the days went on, and not only was it in the morning but was for some reason with me all day and night too…

By week 7 I had to tell my colleagues and boss that I was pregnant, otherwise they would surely be wondering why I kept running out the door to the loo every five minutes…

BUT, there was light at the end of the tunnel, as my friends, my mum, my mother in law all assured me that as soon as we hit 13 weeks I would start to feel marvellous..

So, 13 weeks came and went and the sickness was still very much with me.(As were all the useless bits of advice, oh have you tried this, my friend tried this…trust me I had tried everything!)

And when I say sickness I mean sickness, not just feeling nauseous but full on vomiting. I’m talking the kind of sickness where I had to get off the bus and train in the morning and throw up. I was starving hungry but whatever went in came straight out. Every day I would pray that it would subside through the day but no such luck. I was vomiting all day and through the night too. All I wanted to do was crawl into bed and stay there forever.  My obstetrician prescribed three different types of medication throughout my pregnancy, I’m sure they delayed the sickness some mornings but other day s I couldn’t even keep the pills down….

So, as you can imagine, by the time I’d reached halfway I was well and truly fed up.

I had no social life, I couldn’t enjoy eating for two and i’m pretty sure that I smelt of vomit. I have no idea how I held a job down, although I was dragging myself to work most days, I looked like shit, spent half the day in the bathroom and could barely function.

By now, I had resigned myself to the fact that this would continue to the end.. my mantra became “it will be worth it, it will be worth it..” And then, just like that my body decided to kick me when I’m down….yep, I had started to wet myself. So every time I vomited, I also weed. FUN.

All I wanted  was my mum,  but with a 24 hour flight between us this proved tricky.

We had to make do with FaceTime where I would cry to her or have to cut our chat short as I ran to the bathroom. But still, it’s the little things that got me through.

After a few weeks of this, me and my husband got into a routine, when I would jump up to be sick he’d run in and lay a towel down.. he’d then return five minutes later with a mop and a fresh pair of undies. Previously, if you’d have asked me how I felt about my husband seeing me vomit and wee simultaneously I would have answered “MORTIFIED” but honestly… I didn’t have the energy to care.

I was a 31 year old wearing nappies. Every time I laughed, cried, sneezed or vomited I would wet myself. It was daily hell.

I wound up in hospital a few times from being so dehydrated. I couldn’t sleep, I couldn’t eat and just couldn’t wait to have the baby!

This went on right to the very end, i remember being on the delivery table during my C section when the nurse observed “ she’s vomiting, get a bag…”

My obstetrician glanced up, says “ ah she’s used to it, don’t worry” 😀😀

I can safely say it was nine months of hell but you know what, i’d do it all over again in a heartbeat. I was right, it was worth it!

So just remember, if you see someone looking a little peaky, be kind. And maybe give them a hug. You’ll make their day.

 

 

 

 

When your baby isn’t the only one wearing nappies…👶🏼

Written by one of our lovely clueless London mums….

As we all know, being a new, first time mum isn’t the easiest job in the world.

I had my little girl just over 8 months ago and although it has been the best thing that has ever happened to us it also hasn’t been the easiest ride.

During my pregnancy I was given a wealth of advice, from how to raise the baby, what pregnancy would be like and even what I should name our child! I was, however, never given any advice on how having a baby affects your body afterwards.

To set the scene a little here is some background on me… our baby was a wonderful surprise to us, pre baby I was a workaholic, I socialised lots and loved to run, I even managed to get through a marathon once!

Having a baby changed all of that, work became mundane and pointless and due to 9 months of morning sickness socialising pretty much became non existent and running was put on the back burner.

Once my little one arrived not only was I so excited to have this little bundle of joy in our lives, but I was also excited to get a bit of myself back. I looked forward to being able to get out and see friends again and to get back to running and having a bit of ‘me’ time.

So…. 6 weeks after giving birth I decided to throw on my running gear and get out for a short run… to begin with it felt wonderful to get out in some fresh air, music playing in my ears and it being just me to focus on, sounds great doesn’t it!

I was pleasantly surprised that my whole body didn’t fall to pot within the first few steps and happily fell in to a slow pace running to the beat and then my life changed…..

Just half a mile in to my run, my body decided it didn’t quite want to play ball and that maybe it needed to bring me back to reality a little..

Yep, I had wet myself. 🙈🙈🙈🙈

Not only was this extremely embarrassing being on the main high road, but was made 10 times worse by the fact that I had decided to wear my light grey running leggings that day, which only highlighted the huge wet patch between my legs.

I had no choice but to turn around and run the half mile home, with the wetness increasing with every step I took. After an eternity I finally arrived home. Having rung the doorbell frantically my partner answered with a look of confusion on his face (I had only been gone around 10mins at this point), his confusion turned to hysterical laughter when he had realised what had happened and we both ended up in fits of laughter in the kitchen, which let me say did not help my situation out.

Following this fateful day I decided that I wasn’t going to be beaten by my lack of self control and focused heavily on my pelvic floor exercises and trying to hold myself together anytime I laughed, coughed, sneezed or breathed.

I continued to go for runs and to the gym and resigned myself to wearing those nappies for adults, those that you associate more with an 80 year old lady than a 33 year old women.

6 months later I went to the doctors, I couldn’t do this on my own any longer, and I explained my situation. The doctor was extremely understanding and offered me either medication or physiotherapy. I wasn’t to keen on taking medication as I felt that it would mask the problem and not help me in the long term, so I decided to take the physiotherapy route and one week later I received the letter from the NHS physio team scheduling in my appointment. I was excited, I thought ”great, not long now and I will be back to normal” little did I know that my journey was to take another turn. I turned up on the day to see the physio only to realise that I that it wasn’t an appointment with just the physio but also a group of other people in the same or similar position to me. One hour and a very uncomfortable powerpoint presentation later I came out of my appointment a changed woman, if I can get through the last few months of this much embarrassment nothing will phase me going forward.

It’s another month on and yes I am still wetting myself at every opportunity, but I have found my voice and have started asking other mums if they experience(d) similar problems to me, and the majority of them have. Some of them have sorted out their problems quickly with no help needed and others have spent years wetting themselves, resigning themselves to the fact that this is now daily life for them. You are not alone ladies, we go through a lot to have our babies and our bodies change drastically, whether your problem is similar to mine or it’s something else, speak to other mums about it, it helps to know you’re not alone and a great way to make those mummy friendships unbreakable.

How to sleep like a man…

Ever laid awake at night and thought about murdering your husband?

Yep, that’s right. I said it out loud…

How do they do it? How do they participate with the making of a baby and still get to sleep through the night??

We’ve been gathering some intel and so far have come up with the following methods which seem to be helping them……

1. Drink. Now, there are various different methods of this however it seems that a few beers followed by a bottle of red is the way forward. This will put you into a really deep sleep and allow you to snore really loudly. If you’re lucky it will also put you into a really bad mood early the next morning…

2. White noise. This can range from anything from heavy rain to the vacuum cleaner, even the sound of a heartbeat should you wish. The tip to white noise is to turn it up really loudly so that a) if the baby wakes you won’t hear them and b) you won’t even hear your wife nagging at any point through the night.

3. If at any point you wake up in the night, DO NOT, I repeat do not, make any eye contact with your wife. She will expect something from you. Grunt and turn over, you can still pretend you’re asleep if you’re smart.

4. If you should ever rudely be woken by your wife tut, huff and grumble about how early you need to be up for work. If this doesn’t work, pull your trump card out and let your wife know that you need to be on the ball at work otherwise the mortgage and bills won’t  be paid and essentially you’ll all be homeless.

5. Last but not least, if in the worst case scenario you have to get up and go into the baby’s room, pick up baby, do some shushing for about 2.5 minutes and then call out “think the baby wants their mum love”

Works every time.

And that ladies is how to sleep like a boss. Or a man.