When your baby isn’t the only one wearing nappies…👶🏼

Written by one of our lovely clueless London mums….

As we all know, being a new, first time mum isn’t the easiest job in the world.

I had my little girl just over 8 months ago and although it has been the best thing that has ever happened to us it also hasn’t been the easiest ride.

During my pregnancy I was given a wealth of advice, from how to raise the baby, what pregnancy would be like and even what I should name our child! I was, however, never given any advice on how having a baby affects your body afterwards.

To set the scene a little here is some background on me… our baby was a wonderful surprise to us, pre baby I was a workaholic, I socialised lots and loved to run, I even managed to get through a marathon once!

Having a baby changed all of that, work became mundane and pointless and due to 9 months of morning sickness socialising pretty much became non existent and running was put on the back burner.

Once my little one arrived not only was I so excited to have this little bundle of joy in our lives, but I was also excited to get a bit of myself back. I looked forward to being able to get out and see friends again and to get back to running and having a bit of ‘me’ time.

So…. 6 weeks after giving birth I decided to throw on my running gear and get out for a short run… to begin with it felt wonderful to get out in some fresh air, music playing in my ears and it being just me to focus on, sounds great doesn’t it!

I was pleasantly surprised that my whole body didn’t fall to pot within the first few steps and happily fell in to a slow pace running to the beat and then my life changed…..

Just half a mile in to my run, my body decided it didn’t quite want to play ball and that maybe it needed to bring me back to reality a little..

Yep, I had wet myself. 🙈🙈🙈🙈

Not only was this extremely embarrassing being on the main high road, but was made 10 times worse by the fact that I had decided to wear my light grey running leggings that day, which only highlighted the huge wet patch between my legs.

I had no choice but to turn around and run the half mile home, with the wetness increasing with every step I took. After an eternity I finally arrived home. Having rung the doorbell frantically my partner answered with a look of confusion on his face (I had only been gone around 10mins at this point), his confusion turned to hysterical laughter when he had realised what had happened and we both ended up in fits of laughter in the kitchen, which let me say did not help my situation out.

Following this fateful day I decided that I wasn’t going to be beaten by my lack of self control and focused heavily on my pelvic floor exercises and trying to hold myself together anytime I laughed, coughed, sneezed or breathed.

I continued to go for runs and to the gym and resigned myself to wearing those nappies for adults, those that you associate more with an 80 year old lady than a 33 year old women.

6 months later I went to the doctors, I couldn’t do this on my own any longer, and I explained my situation. The doctor was extremely understanding and offered me either medication or physiotherapy. I wasn’t to keen on taking medication as I felt that it would mask the problem and not help me in the long term, so I decided to take the physiotherapy route and one week later I received the letter from the NHS physio team scheduling in my appointment. I was excited, I thought ”great, not long now and I will be back to normal” little did I know that my journey was to take another turn. I turned up on the day to see the physio only to realise that I that it wasn’t an appointment with just the physio but also a group of other people in the same or similar position to me. One hour and a very uncomfortable powerpoint presentation later I came out of my appointment a changed woman, if I can get through the last few months of this much embarrassment nothing will phase me going forward.

It’s another month on and yes I am still wetting myself at every opportunity, but I have found my voice and have started asking other mums if they experience(d) similar problems to me, and the majority of them have. Some of them have sorted out their problems quickly with no help needed and others have spent years wetting themselves, resigning themselves to the fact that this is now daily life for them. You are not alone ladies, we go through a lot to have our babies and our bodies change drastically, whether your problem is similar to mine or it’s something else, speak to other mums about it, it helps to know you’re not alone and a great way to make those mummy friendships unbreakable.

How to sleep like a man…

Ever laid awake at night and thought about murdering your husband?

Yep, that’s right. I said it out loud…

How do they do it? How do they participate with the making of a baby and still get to sleep through the night??

We’ve been gathering some intel and so far have come up with the following methods which seem to be helping them……

1. Drink. Now, there are various different methods of this however it seems that a few beers followed by a bottle of red is the way forward. This will put you into a really deep sleep and allow you to snore really loudly. If you’re lucky it will also put you into a really bad mood early the next morning…

2. White noise. This can range from anything from heavy rain to the vacuum cleaner, even the sound of a heartbeat should you wish. The tip to white noise is to turn it up really loudly so that a) if the baby wakes you won’t hear them and b) you won’t even hear your wife nagging at any point through the night.

3. If at any point you wake up in the night, DO NOT, I repeat do not, make any eye contact with your wife. She will expect something from you. Grunt and turn over, you can still pretend you’re asleep if you’re smart.

4. If you should ever rudely be woken by your wife tut, huff and grumble about how early you need to be up for work. If this doesn’t work, pull your trump card out and let your wife know that you need to be on the ball at work otherwise the mortgage and bills won’t  be paid and essentially you’ll all be homeless.

5. Last but not least, if in the worst case scenario you have to get up and go into the baby’s room, pick up baby, do some shushing for about 2.5 minutes and then call out “think the baby wants their mum love”

Works every time.

And that ladies is how to sleep like a boss. Or a man.




Drop the mum guilt!! 🙋

Come on admit, we’re all guilty of it in one way or another….

Being a mum means being responsible for keeping another tiny human being alive, its possibly the hardest job of all!

Guilt starts straight away, just picture that time you took your baby for their one week health check only to realise that after the nurse had stripped them off to reveal a large poop that you in fact don’t have a spare nappy or any wipes… or anything else for that matter!! But you know what, you did well to get out the house! (And remembered to take your baby with you!)

You might feel guilty that you’re having a small glass of wine with your dinner or maybe you didn’t wake up instantly to your baby crying in the night, it’s ok… IT’S NORMAL!

Collectively as a group this week we have been “guilty” of the following…;

– baby banging their head on the cot frame

– baby tumbling out of stationary toy car

– sun shade falling on top of baby in the car

So ladies, give yourself a break, babies are going to fall over, they’re going to roll off the bed, it’s reality! As long as you’re there to pick them up and dust them off that’s all that matters!!

So relax, you’re doing a great job!  Whenever you feel the “mum guilt” coming on, replace Bad with NORMAL!

You’ve got this girls!! 💪


Ps. Feel free to share your bad mum moments with us, you’ll feel better once you share it! 😀



Welcome to The Clueless Mothers Club!

The title says it all really, this site is all about sharing experiences as first time mums (or dads!)

Whether you’re like me and you don’t know the first things about babies or whether you just want to join in and laugh/cry at some of our experiences then welcome!

A little about me…creator of the Clueless Mothers Club….

I’m 32 with a 6 month old daughter and we live in Sydney..originally from London (ok, ok Essex… 😊)

I’m the first of my Sydney based friends to join the motherhood gang and so it’s not been an easy ride!

Want to know my saving grace? My MOTHER’S GROUP! They are the only thing that’s kept me sane (as well as chocolate, coffee and the odd glass of wine of course!)

I’ve made some fab friends and even learned a thing or two about babies!We’re hoping to share some stories to help any other mums who are winging it through being a mum, You’re not alone!

Now, being a mum isn’t the only thing I’m clueless about…technology isn’t one of my strong points so please bear with me while I get the website up and running!

Hopefully we can all support each other, share stories and try to make mum life a little easier while having fun too!

Follow us on instagram @thecluelessmothersclub and we’ll be back soon with some stories!