Dad…I think mums broken….😷😷

Dishy doctor.

Sleeping for days.

Dropping a dress size.

Sounds like heaven to most of us doesn’t it….?

But not when it comes hand in hand with not one but two bouts of bloody gastro!

Its all been fun and games in our household the last few weeks… a few of us in the mums groups, mixture of mums and bubs have been down with the gastro bug. Judging by how us adults felt I can’t imagine what it’s like for the little ones 😩

Whilst I was laying on the bathroom floor at one point all I could think was “I want my mum”

Then reality set in and I realised oh shit, I am the mum!

Whos going to look after me? 😭

So up steps dear old hubby…. having not been sick since bubs came along I didn’t realise how hard it was without any family here! Gastro sounds like nothing doesn’t it but I have a little person relying on me all day every day!

And of course because you’re contagious you can’t ask anyone else to take your baby!

So….my husband had to have a week off work and take over!

For that week he was mum, dad, chef, dog walker and cleaner…. (well maybe not cleaner 😂)

In between hugging the toilet I was asleep for hours on end and absolutely bloody useless!

The first few days consisted of hubby popping his head round the door “what shall I feed her?” “What shall I dress her in?” But by day two they had it all nailed 😀😀

They got their own little routine going and sounded like they were having a ball!

( I also suspect that on their “daily afternoon walk” to the swings they may have diverted by the pub for a swift pint for dad but who am I to judge? 😊

Our little one is a bit of a diva and has never really taken a bottle apart from when she feels like it so I was having to breastfeed too which was making me feel even worse 😩

At the end of day three, my husband was sat down with a glass of red and a lovely juicy steak. I sat there chewing a dry piece of toast glaring at him when he suddenly said “you know, I honestly don’t know how you do it every day. Going to work is a lot easier” HALLELUJAH. It had taken a week of me feeling like shit but he finally knew! Being a stay at home parent is BLOODY HARD!

After I had recovered I laid low for a few days to recuperate and make sure I wasn’t going to pass it on, I had serious cabin fever by this point and was dying to get out! I couldn’t wait to spend time with my baby girl and get out in the fresh air! My already pasty British skin was bordering on translucent by this point!

Then a week later the second round hit me and there I was back in the bathroom again! Not happy! Anyway to cut a long story short, we went through the same as above all over again, except this time I was given an injection to stop the vomiting and put on a drip to rehydrate! Thankfully that helped and I was back up and running a few days later!

Im on my ninth load of washing in three days and have scrubbed the house from top to toe! I’ve been to brunch with the girls and done some online shopping, I’m clearly feeling back to normal! 😀😀

And some positives from the shitty situation (excuse the pun) 😂

– bubs didn’t catch the bug 💪

– me and hubby managed to work as a team 👫

– I’ve lost those few extra kilos just before my holiday 😂

Every cloud ☁️☁️☁️.

My Little Sleep Thief 🤱🏼😴

I’m always the first to crack a joke about having a baby that doesn’t sleep….but the reality is it’s actually really bloody hard!

My little girl is 8 months old now and  has slept through the night once. We don’t know why it happened or if we did something differently but it’s yet to happen again. And of course I had to keep checking on her so didn’t sleep anyway….

My hubbie is out the house for 11 hours a day Monday to Friday and without much sleep the night before those days can sometimes feel like an eternity.

Anyone that you speak to wants to chat about the subject of sleep, the very first thing is “ah what a lovely baby, is she sleeping through?” I smile through gritted teeth at the little old lady in the shopping centre, the neighbour from upstairs and the mum in the coffee shop all the while thinking “what bloody business is it of yours” before remembering they’re just being polite so I hit the reset button and launch into conversation. One day I’m sure I’ll be able to say yes! 🤞🏼

Anyway, so when I say she doesn’t like to sleep, I don’t mean only doing 4 or 5 hour stints, I’m talking waking sometimes after 20 minutes, 45 minutes, an hour, multiple times a night!

Id somehow got myself into a habit of rocking bubba to sleep so most of my time if we’re at home was spent pacing up and down with her in my arms. Oh and if that didn’t work, the magic answer had become to pop my boob out, that fixes everything right? WRONG. So not only does she now need to be rocked but also fed to sleep! What had I done?

Add into the mix 3x 20-30 minute catnaps during the day and she’d be back up and raring to go again and I admittedly was starting to lose my mind! Some days I would spend over half an hour settling for her to wake up after 7 minutes!

There wasn’t any time to cook, clean or have any time for myself, things were getting on top of me! I’ve got a permanent mumbun and don’t even get me started on my fake tan! 😂

People always said about being tired but it’s honestly like nothing you’d ever imagine, I have turned into a human zombie.

The past two weeks alone I’ve:

– thrown my bank card in the rubbish

– gone out (twice in the same day) to buy milk, come home without it

– gone to the post office minus the parcel

– paid for my shopping in the supermarket and left it there

Sometime I get to places and have no idea how I got  there! 🙈🙈

Over the 8 months I’ve gone to the early childhood centre numerous times and pleaded for help, it all seems simple when they explain to me about a routine do this, do that but a) it’s hard to take in when you’re sleep deprived and b) these routines don’t seem to work with a catnapping baby..

After being that mum that cries to the nurses on the helpline, finally my referral to the team at Karitane Parenting came through, we had an appointment, there was light at the end of the tunnel!

We arrived there armed with the baby’s sleeping bag and of course Jellycat, the aim was to show the nurse at nap time how we get her to sleep…

After 20 minutes of hubby rocking and ssshhing while she cried, eventually she fell to sleep in their cot. Typically that day the nap lasted a whole 45 minutes!

In that 45 minutes the nurse went through so many things with us and asked us how we wanted to approach it. I was so worried that she was going to tell us to put her down, walk out and leave her to cry herself to sleep, I knew that neither of us were strong enough to do that! But she listened to us and gave advice. Not only about sleeping but feeding, what times she should actually be eating , sleeping, playing. I had generally just been putting her into bed when she seemed tired hence all the little catnaps…I also learnt about the nutritious side of things and got some tips on what we  can feed going forwards.

I actually left feeling positive and reassured that although the baby doesn’t sleep we are doing a good job!

We’re now on day 5 of the routine and can definitely see some improvements already! Its been tough, there’s been frustration, upset and tears and that was just from me!🙈

But hopefully we’re going to be able to stick to it and our little girl can finally get the sleep she needs! (And us too of course!)

(And with any luck my brain might start functioning too!)

Thank you to the team at Karitane Parenting for pointing us in the right direction! 👍🏽

 

 

 

 

 

 

Making Mummy Mates….👭👭

Let me start by saying I have the best girlfriends in the world; we’ve been solid friends for most of our lives. Having gone to school together we know all there is to know about one another…ever heard that expression “we’ll always be friends, you know too much about me..” 😂 So you’re probably wondering why I would need to make new friends right??

Well, 6 years ago I decided that it was a good idea to move to Sydney from Essex…(think I may have been a little tipsy at the time of my decision considering I hate flying, can’t stand the heat and hate the beach but we won’t get into that now…)

Most of my friends that I’ve made over here are drinking buddies, we’d go out after work on a Friday, hit up the pubs and beaches on the weekend, attend summer festivals and the odd boat party….life in Sydney was great!

But life changes, I met my other half, the inner old lady came out in me, we bought a dog, a house, got married and wanted to start a family….

We were the first of our friendship gang to get up the duff and to be quite frank, I really don’t advise it….

Of course your friends are excited when you have a baby, but until they have their own they just won’t get it. And I’m not judging as I was the same no doubt before I became a parent…

Over time the invites slowly but surely are becoming either last minute or not at all, people cancel arrangements due to hangovers, late nights etc, whilst we’re knackered from having a baby our friends are knackered from going out, we’re all on a completely different page.

Life is hard with a baby (especially one that doesn’t sleep), the last thing you need to be worrying about is your friends…

As far as they’re concerned, if we have to go home at 7pm for a bedtime schedule we’re the party poopers. Why should they care that I won’t be drinking because I’m breastfeeding? Or that I haven’t slept properly in months? It’s not their problem.. Not only that but with me not working and my world revolving around a baby I guess maybe my chat isn’t that interesting….

I spent months feeling upset, confused and most of all hurt. Theres been tears and a lot of anxiety. It’s taken me a good six months to realise that in the grand scheme of things it doesn’t matter. They’re still my friends and always will be, we are just at different stages of our lives right now.

Which leads me onto how important it is to make other mummy mates…..

When I was signed up to the Bondi mothers group a few weeks after giving birth my first thought was ok, how the hell do I get out of this?!  My mind went into overdrive…

“How am I going to leave the house with a baby?” “What if my baby cries?” “What if she needs feeding?” “What if no one likes me?” “ Where shall I park?” AAAAGGGHH!!!!

My husband was calm & patient and had an answer to all my ridiculous worries and encouraged me to go… he took the morning off work, drove me there and walked in with me. As soon as I saw some other mums sitting there with tiny babies looking a mixture of exhausted and unsure I felt a little better….

I manage to introduce myself, breastfeed in public, calm a crying baby and listen to the group, what do you know? We’d taken the first step and survived!

As the weeks went on, everyone became more relaxed, we started to meet for lunch and a wine, which turned into chatting about our babies, our husbands, our sex lives, you name it!

Although the group has somewhat diminished, there are still several of us that meet up a few times a week for swimming, yoga, walks,  and of course the two crucial things in life, coffee and wine 😀


My little one is nearly eight months old and I can honestly say that I couldn’t have got through it without these girls!! I knew nothing about routines, feeding, sleeping, to be honest I’d never even changed a nappy before!

We text every day about last nights sleep (or lack of…), we’re genuinely pleased for each other if our baby sleeps for a few hours straight, we share tips on things like breastfeeding, poo, eating and all other really interesting mummy stuff 😂 I feel able to send a text and say things like “my husband is beng a pain in the arse or “my baby is mental, help..”

They get it.

We are all getting to see our babies grow up and learn new things every day. Its so much fun! Their babies have become my babies friends and I’ve made some wonderful friends along the way.

Being a clueless mum living so far away from my family I needed all the help I can get and I can safely say that my mothers group has kept me sane!!

Being a mum is a roller coaster. Every day has its ups and downs and trust me, you need some good friends around. 👭👭👭👭

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Whoever named it morning sickness was a lying bastard….

“You look positively glowing” was not a phrase that I ever heard throughout my pregnancy…in fact, if someone had said it to me i would know never to trust that person again!

The phrase that I became most familiar with was more along the lines of “bloody hell mate, you look like shit.”

So you hear about this thing called Morning Sickness right? And if you’re anything like me you’ll envisage it to be not that bad at all. In fact, looking back when colleagues and friends were ever discussing it I probably would have rolled my eyes and thought man up love, I bet I feel more nauseous than you right now. That’s probably because I was a frequent visitor to Sydney’s mid week happy hours…but still…

Anyway, karmas a bitch, turns out I should have been a lot more considerate because in actual fact Morning Sickness was the WORST experience of my life!!

So just to give you an idea of experience was like for me…around week 5 I started to feel a little queasy in the morning when I woke up..I remember being delighted! I was PREGNANT and my body was telling me!

I was armed with dry crackers, ginger, you name it I had it, I was ready for this right?

WRONG.

My sickness gradually became worse and worse as the days went on, and not only was it in the morning but was for some reason with me all day and night too…

By week 7 I had to tell my colleagues and boss that I was pregnant, otherwise they would surely be wondering why I kept running out the door to the loo every five minutes…

BUT, there was light at the end of the tunnel, as my friends, my mum, my mother in law all assured me that as soon as we hit 13 weeks I would start to feel marvellous..

So, 13 weeks came and went and the sickness was still very much with me.(As were all the useless bits of advice, oh have you tried this, my friend tried this…trust me I had tried everything!)

And when I say sickness I mean sickness, not just feeling nauseous but full on vomiting. I’m talking the kind of sickness where I had to get off the bus and train in the morning and throw up. I was starving hungry but whatever went in came straight out. Every day I would pray that it would subside through the day but no such luck. I was vomiting all day and through the night too. All I wanted to do was crawl into bed and stay there forever.  My obstetrician prescribed three different types of medication throughout my pregnancy, I’m sure they delayed the sickness some mornings but other day s I couldn’t even keep the pills down….

So, as you can imagine, by the time I’d reached halfway I was well and truly fed up.

I had no social life, I couldn’t enjoy eating for two and i’m pretty sure that I smelt of vomit. I have no idea how I held a job down, although I was dragging myself to work most days, I looked like shit, spent half the day in the bathroom and could barely function.

By now, I had resigned myself to the fact that this would continue to the end.. my mantra became “it will be worth it, it will be worth it..” And then, just like that my body decided to kick me when I’m down….yep, I had started to wet myself. So every time I vomited, I also weed. FUN.

All I wanted  was my mum,  but with a 24 hour flight between us this proved tricky.

We had to make do with FaceTime where I would cry to her or have to cut our chat short as I ran to the bathroom. But still, it’s the little things that got me through.

After a few weeks of this, me and my husband got into a routine, when I would jump up to be sick he’d run in and lay a towel down.. he’d then return five minutes later with a mop and a fresh pair of undies. Previously, if you’d have asked me how I felt about my husband seeing me vomit and wee simultaneously I would have answered “MORTIFIED” but honestly… I didn’t have the energy to care.

I was a 31 year old wearing nappies. Every time I laughed, cried, sneezed or vomited I would wet myself. It was daily hell.

I wound up in hospital a few times from being so dehydrated. I couldn’t sleep, I couldn’t eat and just couldn’t wait to have the baby!

This went on right to the very end, i remember being on the delivery table during my C section when the nurse observed “ she’s vomiting, get a bag…”

My obstetrician glanced up, says “ ah she’s used to it, don’t worry” 😀😀

I can safely say it was nine months of hell but you know what, i’d do it all over again in a heartbeat. I was right, it was worth it!

So just remember, if you see someone looking a little peaky, be kind. And maybe give them a hug. You’ll make their day.

 

 

 

 

When your baby isn’t the only one wearing nappies…👶🏼

Written by one of our lovely clueless London mums….

As we all know, being a new, first time mum isn’t the easiest job in the world.

I had my little girl just over 8 months ago and although it has been the best thing that has ever happened to us it also hasn’t been the easiest ride.

During my pregnancy I was given a wealth of advice, from how to raise the baby, what pregnancy would be like and even what I should name our child! I was, however, never given any advice on how having a baby affects your body afterwards.

To set the scene a little here is some background on me… our baby was a wonderful surprise to us, pre baby I was a workaholic, I socialised lots and loved to run, I even managed to get through a marathon once!

Having a baby changed all of that, work became mundane and pointless and due to 9 months of morning sickness socialising pretty much became non existent and running was put on the back burner.

Once my little one arrived not only was I so excited to have this little bundle of joy in our lives, but I was also excited to get a bit of myself back. I looked forward to being able to get out and see friends again and to get back to running and having a bit of ‘me’ time.

So…. 6 weeks after giving birth I decided to throw on my running gear and get out for a short run… to begin with it felt wonderful to get out in some fresh air, music playing in my ears and it being just me to focus on, sounds great doesn’t it!

I was pleasantly surprised that my whole body didn’t fall to pot within the first few steps and happily fell in to a slow pace running to the beat and then my life changed…..

Just half a mile in to my run, my body decided it didn’t quite want to play ball and that maybe it needed to bring me back to reality a little..

Yep, I had wet myself. 🙈🙈🙈🙈

Not only was this extremely embarrassing being on the main high road, but was made 10 times worse by the fact that I had decided to wear my light grey running leggings that day, which only highlighted the huge wet patch between my legs.

I had no choice but to turn around and run the half mile home, with the wetness increasing with every step I took. After an eternity I finally arrived home. Having rung the doorbell frantically my partner answered with a look of confusion on his face (I had only been gone around 10mins at this point), his confusion turned to hysterical laughter when he had realised what had happened and we both ended up in fits of laughter in the kitchen, which let me say did not help my situation out.

Following this fateful day I decided that I wasn’t going to be beaten by my lack of self control and focused heavily on my pelvic floor exercises and trying to hold myself together anytime I laughed, coughed, sneezed or breathed.

I continued to go for runs and to the gym and resigned myself to wearing those nappies for adults, those that you associate more with an 80 year old lady than a 33 year old women.

6 months later I went to the doctors, I couldn’t do this on my own any longer, and I explained my situation. The doctor was extremely understanding and offered me either medication or physiotherapy. I wasn’t to keen on taking medication as I felt that it would mask the problem and not help me in the long term, so I decided to take the physiotherapy route and one week later I received the letter from the NHS physio team scheduling in my appointment. I was excited, I thought ”great, not long now and I will be back to normal” little did I know that my journey was to take another turn. I turned up on the day to see the physio only to realise that I that it wasn’t an appointment with just the physio but also a group of other people in the same or similar position to me. One hour and a very uncomfortable powerpoint presentation later I came out of my appointment a changed woman, if I can get through the last few months of this much embarrassment nothing will phase me going forward.

It’s another month on and yes I am still wetting myself at every opportunity, but I have found my voice and have started asking other mums if they experience(d) similar problems to me, and the majority of them have. Some of them have sorted out their problems quickly with no help needed and others have spent years wetting themselves, resigning themselves to the fact that this is now daily life for them. You are not alone ladies, we go through a lot to have our babies and our bodies change drastically, whether your problem is similar to mine or it’s something else, speak to other mums about it, it helps to know you’re not alone and a great way to make those mummy friendships unbreakable.

How to sleep like a man…

Ever laid awake at night and thought about murdering your husband?

Yep, that’s right. I said it out loud…

How do they do it? How do they participate with the making of a baby and still get to sleep through the night??

We’ve been gathering some intel and so far have come up with the following methods which seem to be helping them……

1. Drink. Now, there are various different methods of this however it seems that a few beers followed by a bottle of red is the way forward. This will put you into a really deep sleep and allow you to snore really loudly. If you’re lucky it will also put you into a really bad mood early the next morning…

2. White noise. This can range from anything from heavy rain to the vacuum cleaner, even the sound of a heartbeat should you wish. The tip to white noise is to turn it up really loudly so that a) if the baby wakes you won’t hear them and b) you won’t even hear your wife nagging at any point through the night.

3. If at any point you wake up in the night, DO NOT, I repeat do not, make any eye contact with your wife. She will expect something from you. Grunt and turn over, you can still pretend you’re asleep if you’re smart.

4. If you should ever rudely be woken by your wife tut, huff and grumble about how early you need to be up for work. If this doesn’t work, pull your trump card out and let your wife know that you need to be on the ball at work otherwise the mortgage and bills won’t  be paid and essentially you’ll all be homeless.

5. Last but not least, if in the worst case scenario you have to get up and go into the baby’s room, pick up baby, do some shushing for about 2.5 minutes and then call out “think the baby wants their mum love”

Works every time.

And that ladies is how to sleep like a boss. Or a man.

 

 

 

Drop the mum guilt!! 🙋

Come on admit, we’re all guilty of it in one way or another….

Being a mum means being responsible for keeping another tiny human being alive, its possibly the hardest job of all!

Guilt starts straight away, just picture that time you took your baby for their one week health check only to realise that after the nurse had stripped them off to reveal a large poop that you in fact don’t have a spare nappy or any wipes… or anything else for that matter!! But you know what, you did well to get out the house! (And remembered to take your baby with you!)

You might feel guilty that you’re having a small glass of wine with your dinner or maybe you didn’t wake up instantly to your baby crying in the night, it’s ok… IT’S NORMAL!

Collectively as a group this week we have been “guilty” of the following…;

– baby banging their head on the cot frame

– baby tumbling out of stationary toy car

– sun shade falling on top of baby in the car

So ladies, give yourself a break, babies are going to fall over, they’re going to roll off the bed, it’s reality! As long as you’re there to pick them up and dust them off that’s all that matters!!

So relax, you’re doing a great job!  Whenever you feel the “mum guilt” coming on, replace Bad with NORMAL!

You’ve got this girls!! 💪

 

Ps. Feel free to share your bad mum moments with us, you’ll feel better once you share it! 😀